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A Bird Never Flew on One Wing

     I don’t notice the boy’s cauliflower ears until we make it to the landing. I am completely fucked. Everything makes sense, he was the tiny angry kid on the wrestling team. I’m about to get my ass beat.  I can barely get a word in over his screaming. The bar below us is standing at attention. The boy smacks the offending beers out of my hand showering the both of us. I’m beginning to think we will slip down the flight of stairs together. With my free hand I grab his other shoulder forcing his arms to his sides. “We all good Kev?” I hear from behind me. It’s my regular John, standing silhouetted at the top of the stairs. He brandishes a pool cue as and I am instantly calmed. I’ve got back up. “Let’s fucking go!” I guide the boy slowly to the bottom of the beer soaked  stairs.

 

     The patrons of the bar have gathered as I announce, “No one gets a drink until this asshole leaves.” I’ve created a mob of annoyed drunks who have been waiting for another round. I let the boy’s arms go and again tell him to just leave. He looks at the crowd defeated. Everyone begins to part to allow the boys to leave. I make my way behind the bar and Cauliflower Ears screams in frustration pointing an accusatory finger at me, “Nothing comes out when this guy comes!” My jaw drops as I’m dumbfounded by this insult. Almost instantly a man at the end of the bar shouts, “That sounds like a you problem, buddy.” The bar erupts in laughter at the poor kid. 

 

     As things settle down, I grab a bottle of whiskey and ask Mark if he needs another. “Well, a bird never flew on one wing.”

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